176,924 penguins – excluding the 12 dead decomposing ones

February 9th, 2011: Taking a extremely large zodiac on steroids, I with which a bunch of other camera touting tourists to Magdelena Island right outside Punto Arenas – a towns name that make me think, “ Punto Anus” every time I say it or type it. I left Argentina and came back into Chile just to see these penguins. On an official government pamphlet in which I was given by the park ranger upon entering the natural monument, read that there was something like 65,543 penguin couples.

How in the – how in the…heck, do they know there are 64,543 couples?! What about the single parents, widowers, divorcees, bachelors, bachelorettes and kids? The tour agency seemed to tell me conflicting information saying there was over 180,000 penguins - though was much better than only identifying the couples, but still…180,000 penguins? Needing to know the true number of penguins, I thought I should do thorough recount…counting only 176,924 penguins – which includes the 2 that were Siamese twins counting them as 4 penguins and excluded the 12 dead decomposing ones.

Through my observations most penguins are well mannered in front of others unlike dogs, monkeys or those human couples at Santiago’s spit guzzling park. I on this island I happily didn’t see any penguins performing any copulation – meaning no public monkey style or doggy style shows…even though thinking about it makes me laugh with their paddle like hands not being able to do much except for perhaps a little spanking here and there.

Being told before leaving to the island to expect a rough ride (the captain later telling me 3 to 5 meter waves/swells were common) I needed to choose my boat wisely. Picking what looked like the nicest zodiac out of the two to choose from, I noticed after boarding the boat that the people in the other boat actually had to put life preservers on – thinking that I must have picked the better boat since our captain must have had enough confidence in his boat for the 45 minute boat ride on the Strait of Magellan to get us there.

Seeing all the penguins here made me feel like I was robbed on the island, Chiloe which is also in Chile - making the big effort a few weeks back to reach that place to see penguins. In Chiloe, I saw more penguins made in China being sold as souvenirs than what I actually saw. After today, I will never have to go out of my way to see another penguin colony again…except for perhaps the animated one in the cartoon, “Happy Feet,” but no more than that.