Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Pocket knife drawn…

February 29, 2012:  Hitching a ride from Annai to the Canopy Walkway, I was dropped off in the southern end of the dense tropical Iwokrama Rainforest at about 4:40am – sort of early to be in an area where I was told that a large population of jaguars and anacondas live.  I love seeing wildlife at close range, but this morning when I was walking to the lodge, I was alright not seeing any.  Wearing my headlamp, I had my pocket knife drawn in one hand while I was eating a coconut muffin with the other, making it to the lodge after a short brisk 1.2 km walk down the road.

The first morning there I made it out to the canopy walkway, which is a series of suspension bridges that hangs 30 meters (99.9 feet) above the forest floor.  On the walkway I spotted with the help of some hard core birders and there 100,000,000 power scope, 2 species of Toucans I have never seen before and some beautifully colored birds.  It is always nice at the beginning of trip to see such amazing wildlife since then on the rest of the trip…everything else can be considered a bonus.  For me, it was the monkeys, giant rats and some strange looking insects. 

While doing a hike one afternoon we heard a noise and my guide said it was a Tapir.  Of course a Tapir, I thought.  He couldn’t say a feral pig since not many people would be excited seeing such a common animal.  Rule #34 in the “Pocket Book on How to be a Good Guide” clearly states:  Claim any loud and untraceable noise to be either a jaguar or an animal that a member of the group wants to see.    
I was able to save some costs with a little begging and agreeing to sleep in my hammock in the dining area after everyone went to bed - though later finding out that the cockroaches must have also had the same agreement.  Waking up at 3:00am to independently search the tropical forest for the nocturnal animals, there were about 20+ cockroaches scattering on the floor with a few even springing off my backpack, looking as if they were enjoying using it for a diving board.

My last night at the lodge, we heard a megaton tree fall near us.  There is not much you can do except, hope that it isn’t going to land on you.  After it landed the manager at the lodge said it was far away…about 200 meter or so – far for him, sounded kind of close to me.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Green Pea pod

February 26, 2012:  In the wee hours of the quiet night I woke up in my hammock, alone and in an open hut made solely for protection from rain.  My hammock is excellent for sleeping outside because it has a mosquito net conveniently sewed to it with a zipper, protecting me from all little things...though this green pea pod is the worst place to be if I needed to quickly get out it for the bigger things.

Something didnt feel right lying there and in a strange way...I felt like I was being watched.  Peeping out from the side of hammock as would a child, I scanned the area with my flashlight thinking everything you shouldn’t when not a soul is around you.  Thoughts of a jaguar making me a human piƱata or even worse, the pasty dead girl from the movie, “The Ring” standing aside the bushes filled my head.

While lying there, the late night choir started with a solo, as a bird began a chirping rampage with a savaged dog later joining in.  Perhaps they were warning me that something was out there…but what?  I seemed to be letting my imagination having the best of me here in Annai, scaring myself again for the second night in a row.
In the morning, I went for a hike climbing a nearby hill overlooking the town and the surrounding area.  I happened to see a family of howler monkeys and two birds in the process of murdering some large ants with their two facial swords.

I had the intent to eat something healthy today instead of Guyana's famous coco buns, so I walked to the road stop that serves food to the town drunks, domino players and they can now add, mangy backpackers.  When ordering the fish stew, the man at the restaurant told me that they can make chicken for me.  “Why,” I thought…if fish stew is the menu of the day, there is no reason to make me anything special.

Well, the stew was shight.  I got the head and fins.  A joke? - I am not sure.  But, if I remember correctly my friend Martha from Colombia loved the head, the eyes, and even its cheeks.  I didn’t seem to have the appetite tonight for eating something’s eyes so I ended up just eating the coco rice and went to bed.  Next time, I will stick with chicken - there is no way possible to mess up chicken…never once have I ever received only a head with wings.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Gee, I love hindsight…but not dirty condoms

February 25, 2012:  Double checking everything to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind before I checked out of my posada…I found something under one of the two beds.  It was a rouge condom and I know it wasn’t mine.  It was nasty but if I left it…then it would be assumed it was mine, and who happened to be the only other person in the room with me?  My first night here, I shared the room with a Brazilian backpacker whom I met on the bus after it broke down.  Oh…did I forget to mention the Brazilian backpacker was a guy?

Yep…not needing any false speculations, I grabbed it with tissue paper and flushed it.  Flush after flush, it went nowhere.  It sat there, floating proudly at the top of the bowl - proudly.  It wasn’t going anywhere so I needed to go in and now retrieve it.  Grabbing toilet paper again, I pulled it out of the bowl and put it the only other place I could think of besides my pocket and that was in the water tank behind the toilet.

Thinking about it now…why didn’t I just tell them to check under the beds because a condom was there?  Gee, I love hindsight. 

Friday, February 24, 2012

Me? A Conman?

February 24, 2012:  Crossing the border, I didn’t realize that there wasn’t a cash machine in the town of Annai.  Needing to exchange my emergency cash from US Dollars to some more colorful currency, I went to the only bank in town.  It was an old small one story farm house, with the porch that conveniently served as the waiting room.

Once being granted access into the living room and after looking at the exchange rates a little more thoroughly…I thought that maybe it was time to get rid of my American Travelers Checks that I been traveling with since April of 2009. 

While I was forging my very own signature to the way I did it 3 years ago, I was told they couldn’t accept my travelers checks because I didn’t have the receipts for them – in which the company that issued these checks states that you shouldn’t carry them together.  The bank told me this after countersigning 3 checks.
 
I clearly understand policies and procedures but sometimes small town policies and procedures can be created from small town damaged brains.  The manager here was just a puppet of the bank, as I tried to reach in and pull some of his strings that were connected to the hand of his puppet master.

After the manager called the main branch in Georgetown to request leniency, he called me back into the bank and needed to know about my life history, how I financed this trip, what countries I have been to and what I do for a living.  After about 2 hours of trying to cash the checks I signed when I first arrived in the bank, they were not convinced that I was not a conman...later implying that my Passport and other documents could all be created to cash these travelers checks that could be forged – for a mere $150 USD?  I think the bank might have watched the movie, “Catch Me If You Can,” one too many times…it is time to watch something different.
With the nearest bank in Guyana being perhaps another 10 hours away, I exchanged my US Dollars and left.  Where is an intelligent ATM when you need one...

(Please note:  Photo courtesy of  www.IMDb.com)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Men in Black

February 23, 2012:  Today is the day I said “Adeus Brasil!” and “Hello Guyana!”  When I was at the Brazilian border crossing I had to see the Federal Police to get that magical stamp for my passport that I am always talking about.  Entering the office, I made my way to the desk of a Tommy Lee Jones look-alike who was dressed in all black attire with his gun holstered at his hip as he was standing there with another man in the same attire.

Not even in 0.345 seconds after grabbing my passport he asks me, “Where is your immigration form?” in Portuguese.  This was almost word for word on what I was hoping not to hear, as soon as THAT form decided to go separate ways while I was down south in Salvador.  This itsee tiny piece of paper that is the size of two book marks placed side-by-side has a cost of around $100 USD and a long day of going back and forth to the nearest town to pay a fine.  I smiled and responded to his question in broken Spanish, using the proven; I don’t understand your language strategy – thus limiting their questions.  But…he responded in English, as I was later sent to the corner to sit as he decided what to do.

Time moved slowly as Tommy Lee sat at his computer terminal taping away, searching for something.  About 6 others came and gone as I patiently sat there hoping not to hear the words,”you need the form.”  After a little more squinting at the computer screen and a few more looks at my passport, he grabs the exit stamp and slams it into my passport, authorizing me to legally leave the country without me needing to make a dash out the door for the Guyana border.  There was a long stretch of road between the two and with the size of my bags…I wouldn’t have made it too far anyhow. 

Walking across the border of Guyana and into the small cowboy town of Lethem (2,500 people), I could not have arrived at a better day because today was the annual festival celebrating Guyana becoming a Republic in 1970. 
I must say that is great to be somewhere that English is there first language but I unfortunately I don't at the momment understand them very well with their strong accent - if they could only have subtitles...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Is it only illegal to club baby seals?

February 21, 2012:  I walked around Manus today during Fat Tuesday in search for food.   This was not a good time to walk alone in the empty streets looking as if most people evacuated the city.  Everyone that was mingling by the port today seemed like they had criminal intentions.  The people were a mix of escaped fugitives, future fugitives, drunks, drug users and those who are not mentally stable.
 
One man thought it was acceptable to throw a large 2x4 piece of wood at parked cars, crosswalk signals and even me while he was ranting about something as he stumbled down the middle of the empty main street.  What I should have done, would be to pick up the 2x4 when it came tumbling by me and club him like a baby seal to teach him a lesson about manors – but, this is not in my job title as a backpacker to do what this sad man’s parents should have done at birth. 
How can people think they can get away with behavior like this?  But, the real question is…how do we let people get like this?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I wanted to self punch myself right in the ear

February 19, 2012:  This year I chose to celebrate Carnival in the Amazonian metropolis of Manaus. I ended up inviting myself and joined a nice group of 10 or so backpackers plus two Brazilians for the evening.  I didn’t expect a gigantic celebration here due to being in the Amazon, but it was huge to my standards.

Our first stop took us to a stage where I was mesmerized watching one of the main samba dancers who was loaded with so much energy.  She was there to help keep the general public in step to the samba line dance, which seemed to be much more faster and 1,344,595,302 times better than the line dance to the gosh forsaken song, “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus .  Even the tattooed gangsters were line dancing samba and they still somehow maintained a tuff look about them – it was hilarious.  I myself did not have much physical energy tonight to learn the steps in 2 minutes. 
Our next and last stop was at the parade grounds to see a gargantuan parade.  It started at 8pm and didn’t finish till about 5am.  Some of the floats were unbelievably large, complex and expensive.  I may never look at a parade in the same way ever again after this.  By the time we left, there was still many families watching the floats go by as they were putting their kids through homeless school, having them practice making a temporarily bed out of a wooden bench seat. 
While at the parade, I wanted to self punch myself right in the ear because I didn’t bring my good camera do to fear that it was going to get stolen.  I need to loosen up a bit…if not, I will continue to miss great opportunities for some decent urban photos.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Pink Dolphins, Trees and “The Quicker Picker-Upper”

 February 17, 2012:  I stood at a bus stop at 6am this morning so that I could make the 1 hour journey it was going to take to join 3 grown kids wanting to climb trees and swim with pink dolphins.  Just because I was writing it up for an internet travel site, didn’t mean I too didn’t want to do it.

I learned when living in Washington State that when you are at a bus stop, you must raise your hand in order to get the attention of the bus driver for them to stop.  This morning, this basic rule was ignored so I reverted to running in the middle of the street trying to get him to stop.  He looked right into my eyes even…and kept going.  I have never heard of bus rage but I think I got a little case of it this morning.  If I had a bazooka I might have just used it on the bus…the innocent would have just been collateral damage.

While on a bus that decided to pick me up, we passed someone freshly hit by a car.  A pool of blood was leaving his oval capsule forming a river, pooling about 3 feet away.  Someone placed a newspaper in the pool of blood so that it didn’t look as awful, as he was motionless with his eyes closed as he laid in front of a car.  Where is Bounty, “the quicker picker-upper” when you need it, I so inappropriately thought.  After seeing this, I had no concerns on being late…there are more important things in life than climbing trees or swimming with dolphins.

I was told a few days ago that feeding pink dolphins has become illegal due to it not being good for them interacting with humans.  But, I must admit that feeding these mutated looking dolphins can be so much fun!  Well, I didn’t actually feed them…someone else did and I just watched – next to him.  I was told backpacker lost her finger doing this sort of trip from the woman at my hostel.  This is why it was important for me when they got a little aggressive going for the food to have one hand in front of my personal “goods” just in case it wanted a miniature toothless sardine to snack on.
The tree climbing today was a nice different, yet more expensive way to climb a tree.  After climbing to a branch about 70 feet (just a guess) above the forest floor I stood on it and enjoyed the first time I “safely” climbed a tree.  I must say that when I was little…tree climbing was never so complicated with all of the ropes and metal pieces connected to my body. 
When I was getting organized on the branch, preparing for my decent…I noticed that the man who descended before me had some complications once on the ground.  Then it happened…to help pull him up he used my rope almost pulling me off the branch.  Fortunately I was locked in, though nothing would have happened except for me getting pulled off and causing me to hang there.  This made me think that if this company was not so completely entrenched into the safety of their customers, there could one day a need for Bounty, “the quicker picker-upper.”

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ninja of the jungle

February 14, 2012:  The obvious thing with observing wildlife is that you can only place yourself in good location and hope for the best.  You cannot be guaranteed to see anything, unless of course you visit a local zoo.  With this said, I went on a 4 day Jungle tour a few hours outside Manaus but unfortunately didn’t see much wildlife besides some pink dolphins, fascinating spiders and a new species of Toucan. 

During the hikes and boat trips exploring the area, my guide was like a ninja of the jungle as he would whirl around his machete; cutting, dicing, decapitating and maiming almost anything in his path.  Fish, trees, plants and even the spiders felt his cold steel if they crossed his path.  Staying at an eco-lodge with solar power and such, you would think that the guides would also be at least a tiny bit eco-friendly.

Though my guide seemed to know an ample amount of what the jungle provides for survival…I did one day question his knowledge about the medicinal plants of the Jungle.  When he found out that another tourist and myself was suffering from some sort of stomach ailment, he pulled out his trusty machete and scrapped some bark off one of the trees…making some drinkable concoction with it. 

Not even 1 minute after I drank it, I saw the guy who drank his a few minutes prior to me make a dash to the edge of the deck, violently vomiting.  “Oh noooo,” I thought, maybe my guide scrapped the bark off the wrong tree or maybe he gave us too much?!  He didn’t even ask me for my weight, age, shoe size, previous health conditions – nothing.  And here I just drank something he hands me without even knowing what type of tree it came from!  Seconds slowly ticked away as I was bracing myself for my body’s turn to reject this root…which thankfully never came.  My guide’s explanation about the other tourist was that he didn’t eat enough breakfast.  Today, I am very glad that I am one of those people who capitalize on all-you-can-eat breakfasts. 
When I was piranha fishing, I ended up catching the most amazing looking sardine – not realizing until I grabbed it, that sardines in the Amazon have fangs.  I would have passed it to my guide to take out the hook if I knew prior to grabbing it.
 
I was invited back to this lodge as a guest to see it again when the water level is higher.  I am hoping that I can take the owner up on this offer in a month or two and I also hope that he realizes that it might be hard to make me leave.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Gang of Amazonia

February 9, 2012:  Again I jumped on another riverboat, with this time being for 3 days as I made it further up the Amazon River to Manaus.  I was clearly much more relaxed arriving at the dock about 1 ½ hours before departure and didn’t even buy my ticket till I got there.  Once on the boat I carefully chose my hammock neighbors who ended up being perfect companions for the duration of the trip.  One was a mother and her 2 children and the others were a couple in their 20’s.

The boat I was on was well equipped for those traveling with electronics due to all of the power outlets scattered throughout the vessel.  The cell phone seemed to have turned everyone into zombies - standing silently next to one of the many outlets, as they charged the phones so they can continue to talk to everyone but those on the boat.  Remembering my phone addiction that I had in the past, I am really glad that I no longer use one at the moment. 
Fortunately for me I didn’t have to fight those with their phones for access to one of the power outlets so that I could charge my iPod, since I didn’t need it.  I was lucky enough to be on the floor that played music for the hearing impaired from the wee hours of the morning to the wee hours of the night.  At the end of the trip I was almost certain that I lost some hearing.  I wanted to plug my ears every time I passed in front of the speaker putting out decibels as loud as a jackhammer, but I had a high school relapse being too cool to do so. 
The toilet situation was bad - much worse than Alter Do Chao and almost unbearable even before the ship left port.  A quite a few times when I entered the toilet on this trip there seemed to be terds from different people floating in the same pool.  Some were so large floating in the already brown river water; I couldn’t believe it even came out of a human hole. 

The problem is that when you enter a bathroom, is that you claim whatever is in that toilet when you leave - whether you did it or not…it is that simple.  You will be put to blame if someone see’s you go out and then enters the bathroom after you, so the only thing you can do is keep flushing as I did and hope for the best.  And, if your best doesn’t work…just lift up the seat and make it out of there fast so they think you just took a pee.  I might be use to public toilets by now, but there is no way I will add to a toilet with islands or mountains fecal matter - no way.
I had 6 kids attach themselves to me for the entire 3 day trip in which we formed the Gang of Amazonia.  From being an art and craft center to their English and Spanish teacher, it was really nice to be around them.  They were not just my Portuguese teachers or the source of a lot of my smiles, but they were also wonderful reminders of two kids who I haven’t seen for quite some time.
As I sat on the boat, I watched the cowboys of the wild, wild not so wild Amazon.  The houses on this stretch of the Amazon from Santarem to Manaus seemed to be the ranches of the waterway.  With the abundance of cattle here, there had to be a choice…trees, or cattle? – looking as if the cattle won.  This region was definitely more developed that my first days on the river, but still amazingly beautiful.

Friday, February 3, 2012

I took a direct hit to the head by a kamikaze...

February 3, 2012:  In Alter Do Chao I searched for a budget tour to Tapajos National Forest and I found someone selling a three day tour for 1/5th the cost of other companies.  Paying this little, I expected nothing but bread, water and a ride to and from the National Forest, even though he was offering the same list of activities. 

A five hour boat ride down some river brought us to his house, which was in dire need of some cleaning.  The toilets here were completely nasty…with fecal matter that climbed up the porcelain and was strong enough to cling there for 3 entire days.  I cleaned the hammock area, but I don’t do fecal matter and I don’t do bathrooms that would cause me to evict 1 healthy sized cockroach, 4 frogs and an enormous amount of flying insects.

I think the ants in the Amazon are getting more and more ferocious the deeper I go in.  The fire ants attack from the ground and even from the trees as they leave almost cigarette sized burns on your body.  They made me doubt my love of nature last night when I laid down to go to bed, as my feet felt like they were on fire.  
Sitting at the kitchen table the other day, our guide’s wife was joining us in discussion and BAAM – she flips out her 47 year old grandma boob to feed her baby.  Being from the US I am not use to seeing someone’s wife’s exposed boob while eating.  I tried not to look, but it is when you try not to…you end up doing it.  This woman has her very own internal baby factory, whom has miraculously just popped out baby number 13 only 4, 5 or 6 months ago.  It is insane how she could have babies at that age without the assistance of medical technology.  This reinforces the need to play it safe even when my future wife is almost 50.
For one of our meals, tapioca was being served.  Picking up a piece I saw it had bite marks in it…perhaps someone didn’t care for it the other day.  As long it wasn’t the portion they spit out, I was okay with it, as I cut off that portion and ate the rest.  As I originally said, for the price I am paying, I am happy to have more than just bread.
In order to attempt to catch caiman, we had to leave our place at 3:00am taking a motorized long boat down a channel to a distant beach.  In route we were ambushed by flying fish…some fish reached at least 8 feet in height as they bounced off of us such as kamikaze pilots minus the explosion and certain death.  I could not stop laughing as I hid behind the long haired man and his girlfriend in front of me.  I laughed and laughed even after I took a direct hit to the forehead, almost knocking my headlamp off.

On the way there we caught 40 fish and on the way back we added another 50 fish plus the 1 that I tossed out to reward him for being still as I took his photo.  In total, we caught 91 fish that morning and didn’t even need to use a hook.

When I arrived I expected bread, water and a ride to and from the National Forest, but I left with so much more.  From the hikes in the forest, a boat trip to the mangroves and all the extra visits I made to the toilet from the food…this trip clearly exceeded my expectations.