The “Million Man March” at Iquazu Falls?

July 10, 2011: Traveling to the northeastern region of Argentina to take in the views of the infamous - almost king of waterfalls, Iguazu Falls, I obviously had high expectations. I did not just expect to see an uncountable number of gallons shooting off great heights but I also had a vision of the “Million Man March” along the trails leading to the falls.

The millions of individuals that I envisioned making it to the falls the days I was there, never transpired – ironically, just like the Million Man March.

Exploring the waterfalls on the designated trails and seeing some of the surrounding area has unfortunately curdled my brain. It will from now on be hard to appreciate another waterfall again – unless someone is jumping off it. Seeing Iguazu will definitely trim my “Waterfall Expense Fund” since when there is some sort of tour to see a dinky pencil like waterfall…I will be more apt to forego it.

At the base of the Iguazu, there was a trip in which you could take a boat to bring you extremely close to the suicidal gallons of water dropping from above. For the select few who beat the odds, they received more than the 12 minute tour, such as those Americans who died in March. Supposedly the skipper of the boat had a heart attack and hit a rock capsizing the US Minnow. It sadly killed those who did not make it to an exposed rock in time.

“Did I take boat ride?” you ask. Please…don’t asking silly questions. The only injury I sustained was that my mouth tore at the seams with the smile it produce.

There seemed to be an unruly gang of Coatis running this region - a striped tailed mammal that is visually and behaviorally related to the thieving, raccoon. They effectively terrorize the park visitors, quietly waiting for the exact moment when someone was not paying attention, so that they can steal your $5,023 USD overpriced park sandwich or other edible human treats – kids are included when I say, “edible human treats”.

The infestation of these animals are so bad, that an employee had to be hired with the mental and physical strength to put fear into these rouge beasts, chasing them around with a wooden stick all day while he oversaw the cleanliness of the messy travelers.

I think it would have been more effective if he could have given the Coatis an eye washing with some mace or even set them up with some electrified food…but, what do I know…I have a degree in business and I am not anywhere near the level of the Coati Whisper.

Besides the Coatis, I was fortunate enough to see some monkeys, overgrown cat sized tailless rats and a Toucan flying in the extreme eye squinting distance.