A Frenchie with a gun and no armpit hair?

March 23rd, 2011: With my friend Melissa now back in Colorado after a brief visit to see me in Lebanon - finishing it with a wonderful old school departure at the airport (I was actually able to make it past security to the gate)…I am currently waiting for my friend from a French sleeper cell to make her way here for a little road trip back to Michigan. While there, I intend to give some lethal weapons training courses at my uncles house with a sizable selection firearms, in addition to other well thought out classes to help her blend into the Midwest without being compromised and identified as a Frechie when necessary.

As for hygiene…my friend left Paris two years ago so there is no need for me to explain the importance of shaved armpits, nor do I need to explain to her that heavy use of perfume does not constitute a shower – even though this is a horrid generalization that only represents…0.00449304% of the French population…with most of those individuals being either homeless or still stuck on Lee Friedlander’s, Nude (Madonna) 1979 photo, where she supported hairy armpits and a bush that is sizably larger than the one Moses saw up in flames on Mt. Sinai the day he collected two iPads from God.

(Please note that I sadly felt that I needed to censor Lee Friedlander' photo eliminating Madonna's girl parts)