June 5th, 2010: Went to the movies to see Robin Hood (the only film in English) with my friend Ms. Roxidania (name changed to protect the offender) the other night and we decided to mutually smuggle in some contraband. We both had different ideas on what would be the best place to hide the goods. Since I have almost no butt, placing an icy cold soda and some gummy worm back there doesn’t change my appearance…significantly. I quickly pass security at the door who is checking bags but thankfully not backsides. As for my friend Ms. Roxidania, she thought placing the items deep inside her gargantuan purse would bore anyone before reaching the bottom who might decide to take a peak.
Ms. Roxidania was obviously wrong as the security officer sniffed out the items as if he was some airport security snack scenting dog, pulling the contraband out of her bag holding them high to show the others who were waiting to get through the door. As her stuff was carted away, I looked at her shocked on how she could have done such a thing trying not to laugh…as my butt was getting painfully numb from the time the soda spent resting between the crack of my…pants. So tonight…I learned that almost anyone could be influenced to be a criminal with the need to save some money and the desire to not be voluntarily raped at the concession stand.
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