Liquid Dancing

June 11th, 2010: After finishing off a bottle of wine at my friends house…I looked down at my worn out pair of hiking shoes, conveniently transforming themselves into a worn out pair dancing shoes. They kindly walked me to two connecting grass huts with minor stumbling, to a place named…Rancho Grande. Tonight was singles night…a night that you have three different colored heart shaped stickers to choose from to indicate to the others at this meat market that you are: not looking, looking for a friend, or better yet…looking for a nice case of herpes to help you remember the night forever and ever and ever and ever.

Already dizzy enough to dance in circles, my friend and I continued to kill our brain cells as we purchased a bottle of Colombia’s p#ss, Agua Ardiente in order to have our own table for the night. This purchase was not a very wise purchase…pushing me way past my two drink limit - not good. Remember that typically whenever I go past this mark, I usually find myself humping a friend’s mom – I am sorry…whining a friend’s mom too other unwritable acts of indecency or wrong doing.

Being complemented on my massive improvement in dancing ability over the past year, I have to give thanks to all of the Ms. Colombia’s, Ms. Venezuela’s, Ms. Ecuador’s and Ms. Russia’s for all of their patience, free dance classes and for helping me reduce of my signature robotic dance moves. I must also thank Ms. Bottle of Red Wine and Ms. Agua Ardiente for the liquid dancing (aka liquid courage) which is fortunately becoming less and less of a requirement the longer I am here in South America.