Trek to Hell

March 12th, 2010: I never thought taking a trip to hell could be as simple as paying some nominal fee. I even thought I had to do something bad or not so good lots and lots of times to make it here. But I guess if you can go to space for millions why not hell? Taking a 6 day trek up to the top of what I indentify as hell is the table top mountain of Roraima. Making it to hell is actually much worse than being there...that is if you like tons of grey rocks.

Yes, the top was grey...very...grey with a bunch of exciting puddles that lost its excitement after 7 hours of jumping from stone to stone which eventually turned into walking in them due to my ability to jump gradually decreased as the day went on. Animals and plants can be quite spectacular with its ability to live up here. The top of Roraima was huge! From the bottom it looked small but that was definitely not the case. Exploring the top for a few days let me appreciate the area much more. Watching the clouds claw the top as they would sprint along the surface along with the views from the edge of the cliff seeing the other table top mountains, towering waterfalls that would form after heavy rainfall and the Gran Sabana seemed as if I was in some sort of dream - I am glad this sort of dream was not one that I thought I could fly.

On my visit to Roraima I was fortunate enough to run into swarms of biting flies (Jejenes) that I truly enjoyed killing - I hated them so much I would have torn leg by leg off if they were big enough and not felt a bit or remorse. The bathing situation was only for those with some sort of medical condition that they could not feel the knife like pain in the frigid water, but there was one body of water which was unfortunately guarded by those dang biting flies, making my wash time minimal. This was a good thing because in some bathing areas there was a large number of male ball washers...nothing wrong with cleaning the twins but only if the body of water was bigger than a large jacuzzi, but...it wasn't.

I am happy to say that the mafia did not "eliminate" (knife motion going across the throat) my czech acquaintances. Hearing about a "crazy guy" sighting the night before from my group members...I laughed and told them it was probably the czech guy I met when they described a guy walking around the campsite in only his tight white underwear with his backpack on supporting bright red legs from all the exposed skin to the sun - clearly needing some classes in the advantages of clothing. Seeing him in the morning, I said hi to them as my group seemed startled I was talking to him, later telling them that he was the czech man I told them about.

As the cold nights set in on top of Roraima, at around 8pm I would call it bed time. I would climb in my sleeping bag I was given by the tour company overflowing from the top since I have a feeling this was made for small children's slumber parties, not camping. Being creative, I modified my CLEAN boxer briefs into a hat which I only wore in the confines of my wretched smelling tent from the socks I managed to wear for almost 12 days straight (I am so proud). These were the days I was glad to be sleeping alone in my tent for two.

The toilet situation...was interesting. From the holes being dug at lower elevations and the plastic baggy that was to be held against the cheeks on top (to later be carried down by a man with one of the worse jobs in the entire world) they both would have been humiliating moments if someone came up from over the hill or around the corner as I squatted like a girl. But as I squatted my fear subsided as I would have spectacular views of the milky way and shooting stars making these deposits the most scenic that I can recall.

Even though at times I would not be able to walk a straight line, staggering...I made it. The sense of accomplishment I had once crawling into the parking lot was extremely rewarding. Next trip....Machu Picchu - or maybe not - a bus to the top doesn't seem bad to me at the moment as I sit in the comforts of the internet cafe. Maybe my memory will fail me and I will forget how I straggled behind most of the others by 30 minutes to an hour.