The circus lives!

October 24th, 2009: I went to the circus in Popayan tonight, warning my friend Martha that circuses are not what the use to be and that it will more than likely be entertaining due to how bad the shows are, not good. I was so…wrong. Some of the shows were amazing not to mention unbelievable. As others, I am not sure what word or words would describe it. Such as the act where a scantily dress woman would squat over a happy volunteer’s face in her little skirt rocking her hips in a motion that is usually done in a back sit of a car as he laid on his back with the young children watching – which was incredible that they could perform this show without parents creating an uproar.

There was a performance that a motorcycle rider would go quickly around in an enclosed metal hamster ball containing a man with zero brain cells standing there in the center. They should have given him a cigarette and a blind fold but he had nothing…as I previously said, not even a brain cell. To make it more exciting, later in the act the man exited the ball and they brought in another motorcycle. The motorcycles engines mechanical screams masked the screams that came from the audience. I forgot to breathe – it was that exciting.

I am always looking for some good photo ops, but not today…I knew that the slightest mistake in some of these acts would have been resulted in a seriously injured circus employee who made me once again believe that the circus can still be the, “Greatest Show on Earth.”

During one of the clown acts the speakers in the background were putting out some uncensored music from Too Short, teaching the fine young kiddies how to pronounce the necessary street terminology school kids are taught in Oakland, California…such as the words shit, bitch, pussy and some other fine obscenities. I was looking around to see if anyone else was realizing what was being said but everyone seemed oblivious to the vulgar language as I laughed.

Originally I wanted to see the lion show but after watching them perform…I no longer want to witness another one. They looked so sad as the animal beater was cracking his whip – he doesn’t hold the right to be called an animal trainer. It would have been enjoyable to see some upcoming footage for the TV series, “When good animals go bad” but it didn’t ended up not happening…tonight.

After today’s shows I have complete faith that the circus is not dead and shall continue to live with performances such as these.

The greatest show on earth?

August 21st, 2009: The white lights dim as bass is being thrown out of the speakers that circle the center ring. Red lights are casted down from great heights directing on these three scantily dressed women that came out from behind a plastic tarp dancing in a provocative manner. Hideously out of sync – they reminded me of a child’s first dance recital…but who needs to be in sync when you are wearing 4 inch heels, a green sequence g-string bottom and top that was more like oversized pasties for their large plate sized nipples. Feeling like I was visiting a strip club, I wanted to make my way up to the front of the ring with some dollar bills…to help pay for their well needed dance classes. Unfortunately the front row was already filled with…children, since I was at the circus…which was once upon a time, known as the greatest show on earth.

Throughout the night, sock packing men and women in spandex supporting highly groomed eyebrows and wearing freshly applied Tammy Faye Bakker-style makeup jobs, were performing acts that could be done by any highly impaired street performer. The performances were not spectacular, great, breathtaking or anything but hilarious. Unfortunately since this was not their intent, I could only suck my checks in, painfully biting deep into my flesh to prevent me from laughing at what I was witnessing.

When it was time for the big event, my short term memory quickly helped me forgot about the prior performances. I anxiously leaned forward on the bench trying to get inches closer to see…the great white tiger. The music was turned up to obviously muffle what everyone was about to say when out from behind the tarp staggered a small sickly looking animal. Trying to increase my vision by squinting, it did nothing but increase my imagination. The white striped creature slowly moved around the ring on a leash and at times dropped to its back, not moving at all. The children who clearly disregarded the purpose of the seats, stood there starring at this ill creature from the edge of the ring…silent. Right before the children were at the brink of tears, it was at that moment, the clown pulled off its costume revealing that it was a white tiger…born in a poodle’s body. I was disappointed that I didn’t see a white tiger but happier that it wasn’t one.

What happened to the circus…in all countries, not just in South America? When growing up they were amazing! They had real tigers, elephants, clowns and acts that what would steal your breath. Did PETA destroy the circus? Or could it be that affordable laser hair removal has made it almost impossible to see a bearded lady at the circus sideshow? Just like the rusty rides that sat outside the big top tonight…the circus is dying. It now draws of a bunch of bottom feeders claiming it will bring back a piece of your youth, but ultimately failing me each and every single time…until one day, I too will give up on what use to be…the greatest show on earth.