The greatest show on earth?

August 21st, 2009: The white lights dim as bass is being thrown out of the speakers that circle the center ring. Red lights are casted down from great heights directing on these three scantily dressed women that came out from behind a plastic tarp dancing in a provocative manner. Hideously out of sync – they reminded me of a child’s first dance recital…but who needs to be in sync when you are wearing 4 inch heels, a green sequence g-string bottom and top that was more like oversized pasties for their large plate sized nipples. Feeling like I was visiting a strip club, I wanted to make my way up to the front of the ring with some dollar bills…to help pay for their well needed dance classes. Unfortunately the front row was already filled with…children, since I was at the circus…which was once upon a time, known as the greatest show on earth.

Throughout the night, sock packing men and women in spandex supporting highly groomed eyebrows and wearing freshly applied Tammy Faye Bakker-style makeup jobs, were performing acts that could be done by any highly impaired street performer. The performances were not spectacular, great, breathtaking or anything but hilarious. Unfortunately since this was not their intent, I could only suck my checks in, painfully biting deep into my flesh to prevent me from laughing at what I was witnessing.

When it was time for the big event, my short term memory quickly helped me forgot about the prior performances. I anxiously leaned forward on the bench trying to get inches closer to see…the great white tiger. The music was turned up to obviously muffle what everyone was about to say when out from behind the tarp staggered a small sickly looking animal. Trying to increase my vision by squinting, it did nothing but increase my imagination. The white striped creature slowly moved around the ring on a leash and at times dropped to its back, not moving at all. The children who clearly disregarded the purpose of the seats, stood there starring at this ill creature from the edge of the ring…silent. Right before the children were at the brink of tears, it was at that moment, the clown pulled off its costume revealing that it was a white tiger…born in a poodle’s body. I was disappointed that I didn’t see a white tiger but happier that it wasn’t one.

What happened to the circus…in all countries, not just in South America? When growing up they were amazing! They had real tigers, elephants, clowns and acts that what would steal your breath. Did PETA destroy the circus? Or could it be that affordable laser hair removal has made it almost impossible to see a bearded lady at the circus sideshow? Just like the rusty rides that sat outside the big top tonight…the circus is dying. It now draws of a bunch of bottom feeders claiming it will bring back a piece of your youth, but ultimately failing me each and every single time…until one day, I too will give up on what use to be…the greatest show on earth.