"You think your bleep (aka shit) don't stink, don't you?"

April 21, 2012:  I somehow made it to the capital of Suriname alive and physically unscathed but a mental wreck.  A church authenticated miracle seems to happens here everyday in the Guianas if you make it to your destination unharmed when using public transportation.  A few uncorrupted police officers with a few radar guns could possibly substantially decrease the number of injured and/or dead bodies that litter the sides of the roadways every year. 

Exiting Guyana, immigration didn’t seem to notice the date of my entry stamp.  If so, he just might have seen that I overstayed my visit.  I probably could have made it across the border into Suriname if I had given him a Justin Bieber notebook with my photo pasted in it, name spelt in Crayons and a colorfully dated Hello Kitty stamp in the visa section on one of the back pages.  All that time, work and a legally enforced donation to the Guyanese government for an unnoted “hall pass.”

The fraternity row like streets of old town Paramaribo in Suriname is a refreshing change from the capital of Guyana.  Here I am no longer dodging the fecal bombs that were planted daily if not hourly by some of the drunken mindless homeless people who didn’t have access to a excrement deposit point - which would benefit everyone, giving them an option/opportunity to conveniently direct  their leaky parts in privacy. 

A porcelain toilet is a great underappreciated luxury and depending on the country, its function and looks can be an interesting subject to write or talk about.  Suriname has been unfortunately been influenced by an invention from a possible European Coprophiliac (a person  with an absorbing interest in feces or filth) who created an external siphon jet toilet.  Wikipedia defines it as, “A German style reverse flush toilet which holds the excrement out of the water. This could be to make inspection easier, to reduce splashing, or just tradition. It greatly increases associated odor and may require a brushing after use.”  Yes…there is more.  Wikipedia also states, “This reverse design prevents the occurrence of any splash-up which commonly happens when fecal matter plunges into the standing water in the standard designs (although substantial deposits may cause splash-up problems of their own). The disadvantage is that it also increases the associated odor and may require the use of a brush to remove bits of feces that may have "skid-marked" on the shelf.”

My biggest issue with the external siphon jet toilet is that it can severely limit the time to perform toilet-time activities such as the joy of reading, browsing pictureless magazines, planning future outings and or getting a leg numbing new high game score on some portable electronic gaming device. 

That was a lot of toilet information.  Wikipedia has been a great source of information to me when traveling.  It helps minimize some potentially strange questions over the years. 
I have had someone tell me before, “You think your bleep (aka: shit) don’t stink, don’t you?”  Ummm…I might have said “no” in my teen year, but now…I can confidently say that…it does, it really really does.