I took a direct hit to the head by a kamikaze...

February 3, 2012:  In Alter Do Chao I searched for a budget tour to Tapajos National Forest and I found someone selling a three day tour for 1/5^th the cost of other companies.  Paying this little, I expected nothing but bread, water and a ride to and from the National Forest, even though he was offering the same list of activities. 

A five hour boat ride down some river brought us to his house, which was in dire need of some cleaning.  The toilets here were completely nasty…with fecal matter that climbed up the porcelain and was strong enough to cling there for 3 entire days.  I cleaned the hammock area, but I don’t do fecal matter and I don’t do bathrooms that would cause me to evict 1 healthy sized cockroach, 4 frogs and an enormous amount of flying insects.

I think the ants in the Amazon are getting more and more ferocious the deeper I go in.  The fire ants attack from the ground and even from the trees as they leave almost cigarette sized burns on your body.  They made me doubt my love of nature last night when I laid down to go to bed, as my feet felt like they were on fire.  

Sitting at the kitchen table the other day, our guide’s wife was joining us in discussion and BAAM – she flips out her 47 year old grandma boob to feed her baby.  Being from the US I am not use to seeing someone’s wife’s exposed boob while eating.  I tried not to look, but it is when you try not to…you end up doing it.  This woman has her very own internal baby factory, whom has miraculously just popped out baby number 13 only 4, 5 or 6 months ago.  It is insane how she could have babies at that age without the assistance of medical technology.  This reinforces the need to play it safe even when my future wife is almost 50.

For one of our meals, tapioca was being served.  Picking up a piece I saw it had bite marks in it…perhaps someone didn’t care for it the other day.  As long it wasn’t the portion they spit out, I was okay with it, as I cut off that portion and ate the rest.  As I originally said, for the price I am paying, I am happy to have more than just bread.

In order to attempt to catch caiman, we had to leave our place at 3:00am taking a motorized long boat down a channel to a distant beach.  In route we were ambushed by flying fish…some fish reached at least 8 feet in height as they bounced off of us such as kamikaze pilots minus the explosion and certain death.  I could not stop laughing as I hid behind the long haired man and his girlfriend in front of me.  I laughed and laughed even after I took a direct hit to the forehead, almost knocking my headlamp off.

On the way there we caught 40 fish and on the way back we added another 50 fish plus the 1 that I tossed out to reward him for being still as I took his photo.  In total, we caught 91 fish that morning and didn’t even need to use a hook.

When I arrived I expected bread, water and a ride to and from the National Forest, but I left with so much more.  From the hikes in the forest, a boat trip to the mangroves and all the extra visits I made to the toilet from the food…this trip clearly exceeded my expectations.