Yella teeth just don’t get yella from nutin!

July 17th, 2010: I have been traveling long enough in South America to notice some strange things as I am attempting to become the first man with Crayola Yellow teeth. To do this effectively you can either get a yellow grill or do it the natural way…coffee. I seem to get different contraptions when ordering coffee from country to county. To date, I think the best coffee I have been served is in Venezuela where coffee prices are regulated by the good ole president, Hugo Chavez. The strangest way coffee has yet to be served would be Peru. Here is a quick little breakdown of my coffee ordering experiences.

Ordering coffee with milk in Colombia: In one of the finest coffee producing regions of the world you get a cup of hot water and a jar of Nestle Instant coffee. As for the milk, if you don’t stop them when ordering and asking for it separate, you will get more milk than coffee. If you do stop them and ask for milk on the side – and they understand what you want, you typically get a cup of milk heated up on the stove much too long leaving a curdled film you have to pull with your spoon.

Ordering coffee with milk in Venezuela: Here you get a miniature Dixie cup large enough to quench the thirst of a hobbit filled with some great rich coffee produced in those special looking machines and nicely heated milk. Too bad they have never heard of 7-11 and the 64 ounce coffee.

Ordering coffee with milk in Ecuador: See above - Colombia.

Ordering coffee with milk in Peru: This is most unusual place so far to order coffee with milk. Here you get the cup of hot water or milk and they give you some sort of server that is typically used for creamer and in this, is some cold concentrated coffee for you to pour into your cup.

Who knows how I will be served coffee in the other countries. All that I do know is that I will continue to work on my gradual yellow tinge to my teeth that most coffee users will too enjoy after many years of hitting caffeine. I am not sure what is better…the yellow tinge smokers get between their fingers or yellow teeth from the coffee bean, but… I will stick with working on my goal of Crayola Yellow teeth and worry about the aftermath at a later time in my life – say…when it is time for wedding photos.